I would like to see a world without emotions. A world where we walk the streets expressionless, gazing into nothingness, never betraying the thoughts going through us. Just out of curiosity. Because sometimes, I think (however irrational it is) we would be better off not seeing the tears in one’s eyes, the smirk on a victorious challenger’s face or that simple un-named expression that reminds you of those who love you.
What would it feel like not seeing the pure strain and exertion gone through to succeed? I get this image of Van Persie scoring against the Red Demons…and then just walking back to his half of the pitch, zombie-like. Or Tiger Woods getting his Cadillac Escalade bashed in with the same golf clubs he won PGA top spot with, and he just stares into his former wife’s eyes. Weird, right?
But, I want you to picture yourself being able to at least able to never betray those emotions that so many a times you have covered with a veneer of placidity. Those inner thoughts that are locked up in your inner conscience, to save yourself the harries of those against you, or even the searching gaze of a friend who seeks what you hide behind your eyes. Everyone says that the eyes are the windows to our souls; I wonder what the blind say to that. But I digress.
I yearn for a time when we shall not be insecure about what we feel, because this happens to everyone. And don’t say that we men are excused, quite to the contrary. It’s my personal conviction, firm as it is, that we men, are literally a ‘Krakatoa’ of these little minions running in my minds. We are only (un)fortunate to learn how to suppress them such that, often we are very much unaware of their nagging presence. As I was saying, one day, never to be to be afraid, sad, angry, or yet not betray our love happiness, satisfaction; but still live a life of completion. Let it be that even in the distant (Insha-Allah) future, on my deathbed, I shall not be unsettled by the tears of my descendants and better-half around me. That through whatsoever endeavours I may go through life, I will, at least, endure all…and yet, enjoy it.
But yet… I am only human. Only just human. And as always, I will ever savour that moment of joy, laughter, love, sadness. Even that push that anger gives you (yeah, I’m EMO like that). Dreading that hatred may ever cross my path. May it be that I will be friends with satisfaction and success and yet know the sourer emotions in equal measure. For all we can do is trudge through this adventure that unravels before us with each dawn of a new day.
I choose to be fickle with my emotions because our life is just a game…and we are but mere pawns.