Has anyone ever counted the number of churches there are in Kenya? Starting from Helicopter of
Christ, Gate To Sacrifice (which sounds more like a suicidal cult), Holy Lamb Centre International
Church Organization… It’s like there’s an underground competition on weird names and number of
weird attendees, weirder services, and even weirder methods of ‘casting out demons’ ‘worshipping’
and the obvious collection of ‘tithe and offerings’.
I remember in the good old days of primary school, we never needed alarm clocks for a while.
At precisely 3 o’clock the stealthily silence of the night would break, literally. A never-ending
crusade equipped with what I believe were the best loudspeakers and amps one could buy at
that time would begin their ‘ministry’. It was mostly composed of the usual kigosho songs of
Kikuyu land…which, however, were sang at a variation of pitches that was once thought not to be
achievable by a single human being. Trust me the whole boarding section of the school would not
catch a glimpse of sleep then. I owe them one actually. Waking me up during that KCPE period, good
This kind of ‘crusading’ is quite common. Where hours are spent screaming, ululating, gyrating in the
name of praising the Most High. And people flock to such gatherings. Some true devout Christians.
Others just a part of the idle village crowd seeking a break from the monotony of their drunkenness.
And in all these crusades, a few things are commonplace: casting out ‘demons’, and the collection
of ‘offerings’. (Excuse the excessive use of quotation marks. I wish there was a better way to express
my skeptism.) Some of these men and women of God are truly working for the greater good of this
world. But in these corrupt days of the world a majority are posers, con-men, tricksters looking for
that easy shilling. I bet those who are more conversant in the Bible than I am can give more specific
reference but I believe the influx of false prophets was prophesied.
So unless one can assure me that that church built next door to a local pub has a clean bill truly is
a House of God without blemish, I will continually shun its presence and practices. The same one
where the pastor screams one of those “warrior screams” in the middle of a sermon…maybe it’s a
technique to keep the flock awake.
I would rather stick to calm melodic worship songs than your screams in the name worship. The
supposed casting out of demons, well, it’s quite easy to hire actors off the street nowadays. And
those offerings, goodness! Let’s just say I envy that mansion you got yourself there.
Remember, we live in a world where eminent Cardinals of the Vatican will freely drink their Tusker
Probox right next to you. Well, at least they don’t do it behind closed doors. And my heart bleeds for
those innocent altar boys who passed through the hands of supposed men of the cloth. We live in a
world of hypocrisy, corruption and vice. Not knowing who to believe. The very religion that preaches
peace and reconciliation constantly trying to widen the rift between it and Islam, creating a breed of
fundamentalists who continuously strive to spill even more blood. Since the Crusades, it has never
ended. It even grows stronger now.
I just wonder. Is this the Christianity that Christ died on the cross for?