I want a 400K seat.

My butt is killing me. You know my cultured behind is not used to these ‘hardwood’ desks that I spend my student life on. I could really do with a vibrating masseuse of a chair that presents me with the remote just at the thought, gives me random backrubs, has a ‘Call the Wife’ functionality, you know, basic ish like that.

But I hear only a bunch of pigs have access to that. I don’t even want to know the features that those seats could have. But all I know, it has been proven (actually it hasn’t but we all know it) that these mboys/children/MPigs (God bless them) will not even lay a hand on them. Uneducated, backward, ancient, archaic and prehistoric as in the case of Ephraim Maina, Njenga wa Karume (is he still alive?)…

Just waiting for that new house to be opened. All that fanfare, hullabaloo with Mwai wa Kifaki doing his usual robot dance/walk, smiling/smacking his lips thinking of his long-lost White Cap. Hiyo ni musuli sana. Saana saana sana! Ummmh, is it an old guy thing to say words in threes? ‘Hiyo ni buuuuree, bure sana , nakwambia bure kabisa!’


I digress. As I was saying (or as my high schooling peeps say it, ANYHU!…what the heck is that?), as the Othaya man walks around, sits down on one of those wastes of taxpayers’ money, as his cronies do the same. So tell me, when you got men and women who had to pay sums of money to get those required education certificates (and, mind you I’m not talking of tuition fees), and whose Blackberries are handled exclusively by their Personal Assistants. Do they even know the difference between a BB and a blueberry, raspberry, avocado etc? Am I seriously expected that such individuals have even an inkling of how to operate that darned contraption of a chair along with the heavy upgrade that the August House is receiving?

I hate those guys. Hate them so much (with few exceptions) that I sometimes wish that upgrade hadn’t happened until the Government was purged of them. To think that after all the money they’ve sucked out of us and yet I can assure you after two/three months, another ‘Milimani’ will be on our headlines.

But wouldn’t it be nice if an eccentric revolutionary (Guy Fawkes type), walked in on the scene, places gunpowder…or cyanide to conform with the times…and give them a bit of the Gunpowder Treason and plot…and at this point I realize just how much my love for V for Vendetta is ‘poisoning my mind. I need a shrink…hehe! And I sincerely hope the NSIS ain’t reading this…bummer! Or I’ll go back to hiding in my bunker.

It was nice knowing you, peeps.



One thought on “I want a 400K seat.

  1. Pingback: My Saba-Saba Take | My Clueless Thoughts

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