Are you drinking a Stoney by any chance? Are you? Take a look at the bottle…a closer look…just below the ‘Stoney’ logo.
There lie the words that have somewhat puzzled me for the past couple of weeks…thanks to me decimating @PeterMutegi’s share of that ginger-ale rip-off over the Christmas period (my belated thanks to you…hehe). Seriously, what exactly do they mean by those four words? Sadly, I tend to overthink some things, such as this one. Actually it isn’t such a sad affair…but think what you may, I’m an Arsenal fan, I’m used to all things around me being sad…sigh!
But I digress. “FOR BEVERAGE USE ONLY”. Am I the only one whose eyebrows get raised by this? What is a soda? Well, according to the Concise Oxford…aaah, who am I kidding! That gaseous, tasty, sugary concoction that we all drink to quench that occasional thirst. But where does that place soda water? Just asking…
So, when the all high and mighty corporation that is Coca-Cola see it righteous and integreous enough for them to warn you against using this drink, in specific, as anything else other than a beverage.
WHY? Is it that it, like Coke, has a secret formula whose rudimentary ingredient will be unveiled upon its use as a substitute for ginger as a spice in that pilau you have been craving for weeks? Or does it contain traces of Nitro-glycerine which if in contact with the slightest amount of paprika or Tabasco sauce will blow up in your gut?
Or maybe and this one isn’t that farfetched, it (just like the original Coca Cola) contains traces of an infamous narcotic. In Coke’s case, it’s rather obvious…cocaine. And NO, I am NOT kidding! Wonder what it would be in the case of Stoney…maybe fermented ginger tree bark…or tiger blood! (Duh winning!)
But I’m a sorry-*ss conspiracy theorist, or this is the effect of the recent going-ons in the EPL…or the degeneration of the excessive goat meat consumed beforehand. I don’t know.
But one thing I know, I do not trust Stoney, and stoners for that matter! Because the similarity in names cannot be a mere coincidence…or maybe weed is the secret ingredient? Just saying…hehe.
You know these are my merely clueless thoughts right?