I Confess


I love you. You and your beautiful voice; the way you sing to me, in the middle of the night. Sending tingles up my spine and subtle vibrations as you hum the glory that lies within you. I could listen to you endlessly, never tiring. We were made for each other, the accompaniment to all my songs.

That slender neck of yours, elegant and exquisite, will always have my fingers gliding up and down it. Making you come alive, with crooning sounds and gentle squeaks. No untoward sounds, guttural or animalistic, because that would be so unladylike, and you must always carry yourself in the exaltation deserving your fabulosity.

No-one ever talks about the head, but it would be a crime if I ignored yours. The crown of your entire assemblage, where the tiny gears twitch and interlink to control all your inner workings, leaving all in awe of your capabilities. Simply phenomenal, they say, that such a small being can achieve so much, be so domineering. I would gently caress your head too, if only to know what gems you hold inside, what intricacies and schema you so dearly and steadily protect.

But if there’s one spot on your amazingly crafted body that I will never leave, that my arms have made their home, which seems crafted specifically for me to physically conjoin myself to: your slender hips. Brilliant is the title of your crafter, for transposing the very essence of femininity onto you. I call you the perfect specimen, ignoring the fear of claims of objectifying you. You are actually just an object though *shrugs*.

And blessed is the fruit of your womb. From the holistically crafted inner chambers of your being arises your fruit, out to glorify and amaze and charm and impose. Majestic, calm, intimidating, flirty, energetic and nonchalant; the emotions you carry with you are innumerable.

That is why your six strings shall forever be exalted, for their simplicity and latent ability.

For your hard exterior that encases the cavernous chamber that amplifies your brilliance, giving birth to such beautiful sound.

To the ordinary eye, you’re just vanished wood and parallel lengths of wire; nothing to crow about. But to the hands that strum you, the arms that hold you, the fingers that grip your frets, you’re a divine beauty, a work of art. A guitar.

Random Mumblings (Disguised As An Apology…plus a list for #KoT)


Two days ago I had my ego stroked…no, it was given a SENSUAL SWEDISH MASSAGE. And by a lady, just to make sure it was wholly appropriate. Don’t get me wrong though, I know enough people who tend to overthink things (I included).

I was given the simplest yet profound compliment on my random musings on this blog. If it came at any other time, definitely I would have accorded it the obligatory thanks and moved on. But of course, you’ve noticed that in the past few months the interval between posts has steadily lengthened. Well, you could almost say I was living off the high of hitting an all-time high of views in one day, and that came from one of my most unassuming posts ever. Just shows how far a little simplicity can push you; wish someone could push that message to this generation of teenagers.

But I can also, true my Kenyan ways (always a patriot, hehe) push some blame unto these internet providers of ours. Got to love just how much love they got for us and our money, sucking us dry leaving me to think my wallet looks more like some sun-dried raisin. It seems like aeons since we were assured of that promised land of cheap, uninterrupted, high-speed broadband internet. Fibre-optic cables, what-not, me dreaming of streaming NFL/EPL  games from the comfort of my couch, endless Skype, Wi-Fi signals saturating the air around you till you can feel the buzzing in your hypothalamus…okay, okay, now  I’m pushing it.

All these dreams of getting to all that cyber ‘milk and honey’.  Seems to me like we still got a few more years to hit that spot…just hope this isn’t one of life’s great curveballs and we end up being taken on a merry-go-round endeavour for a couple of more years; Vision 2030 perhaps. Or maybe 40 years since we are targeting a land of milk and honey…just wonder who our Moses could be. Bets on Bitange Ndemo and his cronies? Hehe.

So without the unlimited high-speed internet connection that I’d finally entered a steady relationship with (Yes, aliingia box finally) and I got proof:

JUST LOOK AT THAT! MARVELOUS!

I will never forget that day. When I went down on one knee, with FreshlyGround’s Buttercup softly playing in the background. All going silent for that crucial moment, I reached into my bag for the all-important item. Beads of sweat of trepidation cascaded down my sinewy back as brought the package out, holding it out. And, lo and behold, she accepted the LAN cable and we lived happily ever after as the picture below testifies:

Well, that was until my semester ended and this long vacation was dumped on me. And who am I to invest in a modem whose bundles are disproportionately priced? Sufferer wa Mungu kama mimi?

But do not be afeared! Oh, do not be afeared, ye host of thine motherland! The clueless one was once asunder but, alas, hast now been found. So fret not (as if you were even about to) because I am now back. And I think my following posts might make a bit more sense than this. Actually a whole lot more sense, because I bet once I hit that publish button, I will wonder what cheap drug I was on as I typed this, Sisters of Death, nini nini.

 

Oh, and one last reason for my hiatus (though none need to be given): all that lists hullabaloo on Twirra. Those were dark times. Dark, dark times. A time when WordPress’ credibility was crumbling in Kenya’s cyber world…but just as any other fad, it died a silent death. Good riddance.

Anyway, I will leave you with a list of some songs that have made these four months bearable…across all genres. Anybody would love them, no matter your preferences. And I just had to make a list…so that when I grow up, which I haven’t yet done, I will tell my children, ”Once upon a time, in those dark middle ages clouded by youth’s vanity, I WROTE A LIST! Yes! A list!”‘

Ha, who am I kidding, but here it is:

  1. Green Day – time of Your Life
  2. Avicii vs Lenny Kravitz – Superlove
  3. Otto Knows – Million Voices
  4. Bob Marley – Redemption Song
  5. B.o.B ft. Andre 3000 – Play The Guitar
  6. Zahara – Loliwe
  7. FreshlyGround –  Buttercup
  8. And lastly Konshens – Colour Purple or its more common variants.

Brain Juicers


This has been quite the weekend, full of queues, football, brotherly love, a couple of beers, The EPL (saviour of the male species from soap operas)…and omnipresent promise of a new promising future in the coming week.

And I made TWO great discoveries…actually 3:

  1. I’m allergic to bullsh*t!…and that’s not a joke.
  2. StumbleUpon
  3. Reverbnation

The BS one is quite self-explanatory, actually.

StumbleUpon is quite the gem…for anyone! I mean it..ANYONE! Whatever your tastes are: photography, abstract art, homosexuality, geek stuff, stock markets, music! Everything for Everyone. It’s basically just what it’s title suggests; you stumble upon items that are of a subject that interests you. i never thought i had an eye for art…well apart from my STD. 2 clip-art drawings…not until I came across some unconventional art forms on Sunday morning, like Reflection photography, such as in this photo:

you just wonder the kind of mental nightmare that poor kitty was experiencing then. I bet it’ll never be the same, NEVER!

Or this serene photo

Or this one

Or this

Simply marvelous…I think you  get the message…simply fantamargorgeous. (Sorry, childhood word I’ve never learnt to drop). I mean, some of these photos give you mental and visual orgasms! Please, spice up your weekend and fire up your week with some of this stumbles…you’ll never regret. You might even land on some #TedTalks while on there…which, I swear, are the most intelligent forums for free-thinkers worldwide! If you differ, feel free to…aaaah! Trust me there’s no way you will defer!

As for Reverbnation, if you would like a perspective into the Kenyan rock scene, this is my top recommendation. Murfy’s Flaw, Crystal Axis, M2o…I’m tired can’t remember the others. Tracing them on youtube is a stress, and I’ve never found a larger collection of works of unsigned hype…even Kapella who worked on that Toklezea track with Chantelle and Abbas. Just listening to some of Murfy’s Flaw‘s tracks makes you want to go all air-guitar on their tracks…especially their new one In Silence which has quite an interesting video

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Okay, well, you can tell that my thoughts are all over the place, blame Arsenal (God Help Us) and this coming week of a new beginning. Feels like first day of high school all over again. But with such mental stimulators as are provided by these sites above,I’ll survive

So for this week, JUICE YOUR BRAIN UP! CRANK IT UP!

Have a great week you all.

Punk rock vs. Metal


A listen to @thefuse984  or @XFM1055 any day will make it apparent just how separate these two genres of rock music are. It’s like asking Lady Gaga to be homophobic…or Agwambo to change his middle name to Kamau or Njagi. And this difference seems to be inculcated in their respective listeners. This wasn’t blatantly apparent until I noticed quite a number of my followees on Twirra accusing the above rock shows of not playing any metal requests (well, things have changed slightly since then: people power). And don’t even think of suggesting some of your favoured bands to a person of different tastes…they’ll be shot down as GAY! (true story btw. Happened to me.)

Most contemporary punks and alternative rockers label metal as a “melancholic cacophony of snapped bass guitar strings, cracked hi-hats, and possessed growling vocals”. They say that while metal involves aggressive instrumentation,  punk rock embraces the blend of all instruments..some being quite unconventional.

Blue October's Violinist

Choose to agree or disagree but it’s mostly metal that has influenced mainstream society to labeled as ‘demonic’ and ‘satanic’. For example sample theses lyrics from a black metal band:

We’re left hand followers
Because Satan rule the earth
On command of the messenger of darkness
We begin our eternal ride
The obscurity doors are opening
Until we reach the abyss
We have to triumph on many spheres
Climb mountains of thoughts
“…and kill worthless gods”

Well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. If not, your poetry teacher was probably a Std. 8 dropout. Metal is characterized by  loud distorted guitars, emphatic rhythms, dense bass-and-drum sound, and vigorous vocals according to Wikipedia. And to most this is just some educated wordplay synonymous to noise.

Metalheads, as I said view most alternative and punk rock as ‘sissy music’

Most apparently seek the same instrumentation that many claim is lacking in rock metal. It’s a genre of music just as any other and viewed as an avenue of expression of human emotion…and culture.

Culture.*

Which makes me think, any genre carries along with it a ‘dress-code’. A label to the society of one’s affiliation. All rock-affiliated dress codes seek to distinguish themselves from the crowd. To be unique. So, the punk’s loud (or not) colours, piercings and artistic t-shirts bear a brazen contrast to the gory, heavily-accessorized attire of metalheads. Things could not be more similar…

The Metal version of Venus

The typical punk

Myself, I’m a self-confessed punk (with no negative connotations as the dictionary may attach to the word) so I may hold a slight bias against any genre of music harder on my tympanic membrane… (I’ve always wanted to use that word, Thank you Bio teacher, Linet )…on my eardrum than alternative metal played by bands like My Chemical Romance or Breaking Benjamin. However, I also digress occasionally, sampling some of the melodic tunes by legends like Metallica or Korn; these are usually my angry songs.

one of my favourite bands - My Chemical Romance

The famous Slipknot(has anyone Ever seen their real faces?

Just as anyone else, most metalheads seek the release accorded to them by the music, most choosing to ignore the negative stereotype attached to the music. Same for other rock lovers.

But what about listeners of the other rather ‘mainstream’ music genres yaani RnB, Hip-hop (which is dead btw) and the others. Most look upon all rock genres with disdain. Others don’t even know that some of the so-called songs they listen to are actually rock songs (examples escape my mind presently). But what do such people like/hate about rock…well, apart from the incessant ‘satanic’ babble. The day one single person gives me a concrete and honest answer I will hold my peace.

But for now, whatever your tastes, preferences and try experimenting on something new. Try getting out of your musical comfort zone and give your ears a “caffeine rush” of sorts. Personally, I recommend jazz; it’s diverse enough to get even the wax in your ears jumping for joy. Techno/House/Electro/Dance are also quite something else; ask anyone who’s been on the Nairobi party-scene this year.

For now, remember: ALL MUSIC IS BEAUTIFUL!

Well, apart from beiber gaga, and that creature called Hemedi

 

As a footnote, if you think anything I’ve said is incorrect, or too shallow, or even biased, feel free to educate me.

Musically, but still cluelessly yours, Mutegi